Sunday, October 01, 2006
The Shit List, part 2
On June 16th, I said the following in a post entitled "The Shit List"
Those lovely customers have ordered twice, to my knowledge, since then, and I was lucky enough to be up for delivery both times. The second most recent time, their total was around $30 and I my ever-so-grateful customers thanked me for the service with a $1 tip. Last night, the total was $25.93 and they, since they obviously really appreciate the convenience, left me with an entire $.07. They got their change back, of course. I left a neat little stack of seven pennies in their driveway.
I can only hope these selfish, penny-pinching disgraceful people read my blog and recognize that I'm talking about them. For my sake, I won't be saying their address, but if they're really smart (and somehow I doubt they are) they'll know what I mean when I say: If you live at 5 "Skyvista," as long as I end up with your delivery you will no longer be receiving it within a reasonable amount of time. Will it still be hot? Maybe. Will it be in "normal" condition? Of course, I wouldn't go that far. Will I be polite when I get to your house? Don't count on it. The past three times I've delivered to you, you've received over $120 worth of food. For that, you've given me somewhere between $3 and $4, or about 3%.
I'll say this for the umpteenth time: I depend on tips. The service you receive will correlate with how much you've tipped me in the past. If your tips are poor or nonexistant, the service you receive will be poor or nonexistant (we reserve the right to refuse service to anybody, and when I say "we" I am literally talking about the drivers). Just keep these things in mind.
Tipping your delivery driver $2.49 on a $62.51 order is like humiliating the wife or daughter of a mob boss in public. Once you do it, you can't take it back and you're pretty much screwed if you ever show yourself again. You just don't do it. You do not fuck with the guy who gets a significant amount of unsupervised "alone time" with your food.
Those lovely customers have ordered twice, to my knowledge, since then, and I was lucky enough to be up for delivery both times. The second most recent time, their total was around $30 and I my ever-so-grateful customers thanked me for the service with a $1 tip. Last night, the total was $25.93 and they, since they obviously really appreciate the convenience, left me with an entire $.07. They got their change back, of course. I left a neat little stack of seven pennies in their driveway.
I can only hope these selfish, penny-pinching disgraceful people read my blog and recognize that I'm talking about them. For my sake, I won't be saying their address, but if they're really smart (and somehow I doubt they are) they'll know what I mean when I say: If you live at 5 "Skyvista," as long as I end up with your delivery you will no longer be receiving it within a reasonable amount of time. Will it still be hot? Maybe. Will it be in "normal" condition? Of course, I wouldn't go that far. Will I be polite when I get to your house? Don't count on it. The past three times I've delivered to you, you've received over $120 worth of food. For that, you've given me somewhere between $3 and $4, or about 3%.
I'll say this for the umpteenth time: I depend on tips. The service you receive will correlate with how much you've tipped me in the past. If your tips are poor or nonexistant, the service you receive will be poor or nonexistant (we reserve the right to refuse service to anybody, and when I say "we" I am literally talking about the drivers). Just keep these things in mind.
