Saturday, March 31, 2007



I've come to the conclusion that keep-the-changers -- the people who will round up to the next dollar and then tell you to "keep the change" -- are more vindictive than the exact-change stiffers.

First, let me say that I'll give exact-change stiffers the benefit of the doubt (to a degree). They can simply claim ignorance to the tipping custom, or just to the fact that we, the drivers, are actually tipped employees. Like I said, though, they can only plead ignorance for so long. After a certain point I'll likely bring up the topic of tipping either directly (asking why they don't tip; drivers be warned, because many stores look down on such behavior) or indirectly (via small-talk). If they continue to stiff me after that, they will quickly reach the ranks of the keep-the-changers.

Why are keep-the-changers so hateful toward us?

I'm not sure I can answer the why, but I can explain how I know that it's true. It's quite simple, really. Do you honestly believe that these people, the ones who round up to the dollar and tell us to keep the change, would do that when paying at a grocery or retail store? There you have it. They tell us to keep the change because they know we work for tips.

But do we deserve their tip? We most certainly do not! Their money is far too precious to be wasted on a peon like the pizza delivery guy. Unless, of course, it's a matter of only a few cents. "The total is $13.87? Here's $14, pizza boy. You can keep the change." They somehow convince themselves that they are following custom while still not wasting any more money on us than what they'd find under their couch cushions.

These people, the keep-the-changers, receive worse service from me than exact-change stiffers. Yeah, I'm making a tiny bit of money off of them, but I'd much rather just keep my dignity.

Coming soon: Assholes who don't seem to realize it's FUCKING POURING OUTSIDE

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