Friday, June 30, 2006
Next Time, Do It Yourself.
Incidentally, the only person to tip me less than two dollars last night was also the only person to ever say to me "Grab him, will ya?" after letting his dog out the door. If I wasn't an animal lover and didn't care whether or not the dog could have gotten hurt after running away, I would have politely refused. Maybe not so politely, come to think of it. You let your dog out, you don't tell me to go get him.
Fortunately, I have a way with animals. I think so, at least. The dog didn't run very far before I whistled and patted the ground, then it ran back to me and rolled over. So I picked it up and carried it back to the house just in time for the woman of the house to hand me the check. The check, which was not rounded up to the next dollar, nor the dollar after that, but was written for $17.50 for a $15.64 order. How does someone decide "Let's give the boy $17.50"? Why not add an additional 14 cents and not look like such a scumbag, especially right after I've done you a favor by catching the dog you let out?
Jesus Christ. For the record, though, that was my second to last delivery last night and in the end I still averaged over $3 and 15% for each delivery. Best night I've had so far this week.
Fortunately, I have a way with animals. I think so, at least. The dog didn't run very far before I whistled and patted the ground, then it ran back to me and rolled over. So I picked it up and carried it back to the house just in time for the woman of the house to hand me the check. The check, which was not rounded up to the next dollar, nor the dollar after that, but was written for $17.50 for a $15.64 order. How does someone decide "Let's give the boy $17.50"? Why not add an additional 14 cents and not look like such a scumbag, especially right after I've done you a favor by catching the dog you let out?
Jesus Christ. For the record, though, that was my second to last delivery last night and in the end I still averaged over $3 and 15% for each delivery. Best night I've had so far this week.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
It Doesn't Get Much Worse
I can't even begin to imagine what was wrong with yesterday.
First off, I went into work at 4:45 and got off at 7:30. Why did I work for less than three hours? Well, in that time I managed to take three deliveries (3!) while our closing driver only had one. And I was more than happy to leave work last night and not waste any more gas on our scumbag customers. Here's how it went down:
Delivery #1: $15.64 order; $.36 "tip"
Delivery #2: $23.98 order; $2.02 tip
Delivery #3: $10.77 order; $3.23 tip
So it's clear only one person last night really respected me. I'd say the same about Delivery #2 if the man didn't live in a huge house five miles from the store. In my opinion, and maybe I'm stepping out of bounds here, someone who can afford such a massive house can afford to tip 15-20%. Of course, it's said around Pizzaland that the reason these people obtain such large homes is because they don't tip.
In any case, I made $5.61 for three deliveries last night, all of which required at least a 6 to 8-mile round trip, which means I drove at least 18-24 miles, so with gas prices at $2.80 and my car getting 20 miles to the gallon, I really only made about... well, $2.80. For 2.75 hours of work. I made $1.02/hr last night.
I'm taking today off to regroup.
First off, I went into work at 4:45 and got off at 7:30. Why did I work for less than three hours? Well, in that time I managed to take three deliveries (3!) while our closing driver only had one. And I was more than happy to leave work last night and not waste any more gas on our scumbag customers. Here's how it went down:
Delivery #1: $15.64 order; $.36 "tip"
Delivery #2: $23.98 order; $2.02 tip
Delivery #3: $10.77 order; $3.23 tip
So it's clear only one person last night really respected me. I'd say the same about Delivery #2 if the man didn't live in a huge house five miles from the store. In my opinion, and maybe I'm stepping out of bounds here, someone who can afford such a massive house can afford to tip 15-20%. Of course, it's said around Pizzaland that the reason these people obtain such large homes is because they don't tip.
In any case, I made $5.61 for three deliveries last night, all of which required at least a 6 to 8-mile round trip, which means I drove at least 18-24 miles, so with gas prices at $2.80 and my car getting 20 miles to the gallon, I really only made about... well, $2.80. For 2.75 hours of work. I made $1.02/hr last night.
I'm taking today off to regroup.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Jealousy
In regards to the topic of this post, yes I am jealous that our other driver tonight pulled in over $50 in tips compared to my $26 for the same amount of deliveries.
That being said, I would like to thank the generous woman who gave me a $6 tip at the beginning of the night. I only wish your "above average" tip would have contributed to an above average night. As for the rest of the deliveries I took tonight, well, fuck all of you. Most of you, I should say. One or two of you offered tips greater than $3, though were still under 10% of the total bill. For the rest of the night, I was - as we drivers (dis)like to call it - "chicken farming." That's a buck, after a buck, after a buck.
Fortunately, nights this bad don't occur nearly as often as the good or average nights. Unfortunately, with the $26 I made tonight I'll hardly be able to afford the two new tires I need to buy tomorrow.
Here's to Tuesday.
That being said, I would like to thank the generous woman who gave me a $6 tip at the beginning of the night. I only wish your "above average" tip would have contributed to an above average night. As for the rest of the deliveries I took tonight, well, fuck all of you. Most of you, I should say. One or two of you offered tips greater than $3, though were still under 10% of the total bill. For the rest of the night, I was - as we drivers (dis)like to call it - "chicken farming." That's a buck, after a buck, after a buck.
Fortunately, nights this bad don't occur nearly as often as the good or average nights. Unfortunately, with the $26 I made tonight I'll hardly be able to afford the two new tires I need to buy tomorrow.
Here's to Tuesday.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Selfish Drivers
Today's my first day off since the 12th and nothing post-worthy has happened in the past few days at work, so I'm going to take a moment to rant a little bit.
I should start by saying that I frequent the forum at TipThePizzaGuy.com which, to all you customers out there, is a site I highly recommend you all visit, even if you regularly tip your driver. The site is very educational and provides wonderful insight as to what it is, exactly, that we do.
Anyway, a couple days ago some "corporate puppet," as many of the posters have taken delight in calling him, began posting in our forum. Mind you, this site is about tipping drivers and the forum is a place for actual drivers to rant and let off some steam. So when this manager-type bigshot comes into the forum telling us that we all need to "see the big picture" and "be a part of the team" and that "it would be better for everyone if there were less selfish people delivering pizzas," we tend to get a little pissed off. He asks us "why bring everyone else down by complaining about [getting stiffed] all the time?"
This man, obviously, has never tried to make a living working for tips. This clown actually believes that when a driver gets back from a delivery and makes a comment about getting stiffed, he's bringing down the rest of the employees and is, of course, bad for business. I'm not even joking. He seems upset about drivers being selfish and disloyal to their stores.
I commented, of course, but I'm still waiting for a response. I figured it should be pretty clear to him by now, but since he still didn't seem to get it I decided to point out to him that the reason we have jobs is because we want money. We're not working for his store; we're simply working for a store. It doesn't matter what store it is. All that matters is that we're getting paid, and since tips make up the majority of the money we make and like it or not, tipping is customary, we feel a bit cheated when a customer stiffs us. It's like having a manager withhold a paycheck. So why is it we don't have a right to be upset about it? It's not like we come back from a delivery and knock over trash cans and throw shit all over the place and curse at the customers. No, we may let out a disappointed sigh and tell a co-worker, "Man, I just got stiffed." Yeah, talk about really lowering the employees' morale.
And this "be a team player" and "see the big picture" junk is just bullshit. I'm not a team player; I'm a me player. I'm out to make money for me, not for the company. The big picture is that we work for money, so when we don't get it we're unhappy. Period. Call me disloyal or whatever. Just shut the fuck up about it and let me vent occasionally.
I should start by saying that I frequent the forum at TipThePizzaGuy.com which, to all you customers out there, is a site I highly recommend you all visit, even if you regularly tip your driver. The site is very educational and provides wonderful insight as to what it is, exactly, that we do.
Anyway, a couple days ago some "corporate puppet," as many of the posters have taken delight in calling him, began posting in our forum. Mind you, this site is about tipping drivers and the forum is a place for actual drivers to rant and let off some steam. So when this manager-type bigshot comes into the forum telling us that we all need to "see the big picture" and "be a part of the team" and that "it would be better for everyone if there were less selfish people delivering pizzas," we tend to get a little pissed off. He asks us "why bring everyone else down by complaining about [getting stiffed] all the time?"
This man, obviously, has never tried to make a living working for tips. This clown actually believes that when a driver gets back from a delivery and makes a comment about getting stiffed, he's bringing down the rest of the employees and is, of course, bad for business. I'm not even joking. He seems upset about drivers being selfish and disloyal to their stores.
I commented, of course, but I'm still waiting for a response. I figured it should be pretty clear to him by now, but since he still didn't seem to get it I decided to point out to him that the reason we have jobs is because we want money. We're not working for his store; we're simply working for a store. It doesn't matter what store it is. All that matters is that we're getting paid, and since tips make up the majority of the money we make and like it or not, tipping is customary, we feel a bit cheated when a customer stiffs us. It's like having a manager withhold a paycheck. So why is it we don't have a right to be upset about it? It's not like we come back from a delivery and knock over trash cans and throw shit all over the place and curse at the customers. No, we may let out a disappointed sigh and tell a co-worker, "Man, I just got stiffed." Yeah, talk about really lowering the employees' morale.
And this "be a team player" and "see the big picture" junk is just bullshit. I'm not a team player; I'm a me player. I'm out to make money for me, not for the company. The big picture is that we work for money, so when we don't get it we're unhappy. Period. Call me disloyal or whatever. Just shut the fuck up about it and let me vent occasionally.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Do the Math
Nothing overly exciting happened last night. I averaged over 14% in tips so it wasn't too terrible.
Since nothing hapened last night, I'll give you readers (and possible customers) out there some guidelines you could (and should) use for tipping us pizza drivers.
-$3 for orders under $20.
-15-20% for orders over $20.
That was easy, wasn't it? Let's run through a few examples.
Order of $16.18: give $19-20.
Order of $25.40: give $30.
Order of $20.72: give $24-25.
REMEMBER: Almost ZERO percent of drivers carry coin change on them unless it was given to them by another customer. So do not ask or even expect the driver to give you exact change. If you're that intent on stiffing us, write a check.
I recommend you adjust your tip accordingly under the following circumstances:
-Inclimate weather like rain, cold, or heat.
-Adjust even more if it's hailing, sleeting, or snowing.
-If you're more than three miles from the store. Don't forget the driver is actually going six miles to take your delivery.
-If you're more than five miles, that's a ten mile round trip so I suggest you adjust it even more. What a lot of people don't realize is that the further a delivery is from the store, the more money we will spend (gas) and the less money we will make because in the meantime, many other close deliveries are leaving from the store.
-For every thirty seconds you make us wait at your door, add fifty cents to your tip. The transaction is supposed to be quick. The timer should start when we ring the doorbell or knock.
That's it. More to be added in the future when I'm not pressed for time.
-D
Since nothing hapened last night, I'll give you readers (and possible customers) out there some guidelines you could (and should) use for tipping us pizza drivers.
-$3 for orders under $20.
-15-20% for orders over $20.
That was easy, wasn't it? Let's run through a few examples.
Order of $16.18: give $19-20.
Order of $25.40: give $30.
Order of $20.72: give $24-25.
REMEMBER: Almost ZERO percent of drivers carry coin change on them unless it was given to them by another customer. So do not ask or even expect the driver to give you exact change. If you're that intent on stiffing us, write a check.
I recommend you adjust your tip accordingly under the following circumstances:
-Inclimate weather like rain, cold, or heat.
-Adjust even more if it's hailing, sleeting, or snowing.
-If you're more than three miles from the store. Don't forget the driver is actually going six miles to take your delivery.
-If you're more than five miles, that's a ten mile round trip so I suggest you adjust it even more. What a lot of people don't realize is that the further a delivery is from the store, the more money we will spend (gas) and the less money we will make because in the meantime, many other close deliveries are leaving from the store.
-For every thirty seconds you make us wait at your door, add fifty cents to your tip. The transaction is supposed to be quick. The timer should start when we ring the doorbell or knock.
That's it. More to be added in the future when I'm not pressed for time.
-D
Friday, June 16, 2006
The Shit List
Just to be clear: Tipping your delivery driver $2.49 on a $62.51 order is like humiliating the wife or daughter of a mob boss in public. Once you do it, you can't take it back and you're pretty much screwed if you ever show yourself again. You just don't do it. You do not fuck with the guy who gets a significant amount of unsupervised "alone time" with your food.
Anyway, last night started out pretty crappy. First there was that large order for a 3% tip, then there were several other orders where the customers essentially ripped me off. Out of my first five deliveries last night, the best tip I received was from an order that was only $10.77. The other four added up to be $9.12 in tips for $141.48 in food. Do you know what percentage that is? Well, if you're one of my customers you're probably not very good at math so allow me to do it for you. That's less than 6.5%. Now to be fair, that crummy little "tip" on the big order probably brought the percentage down a little, but the other three deliveries still averaged only 8.5% in tips. What I'm trying to say is that those tips are pathetic. Any person in the food service can tell you that.
Any decent human being can tell you the standard for tipping is 15-20%. Yeah, you thought that was only for waiters, didn't you? I hate to break it to you, but waiters don't drive up to 100 miles every day on the job, constantly stopping and wearing out their car and tires, in any weather condition, through crummy neighborhoods with a wad of cash on them. They walk twenty feet this way... then they walk twenty feet that way. Then they repeat steps one and two when necessary.
I did say last night only started out crappy. Yes, it did get better. In the end I still only averaged about 13% in tips, but I was satisfied with the dollar amount I walked away with.
Now I know you've read this far because you're wondering what the title of this post means. "The Shit List." What is that? I can tell you from experience and discussions with many other drivers across the United States that around 95% of us carry shit lists in our cars. These are because while we pride ourselves on our topological memories, we don't have the space in our heads to memorize every one of our customers who disrespect or insult us (the stiffers, namely). So what's the point? First, we're generally never surprised anymore when we get stiffed. Because of our shit lists, we've known it was coming since the moment we left the store. Second, people on our shit lists get zero priority if we're leaving with multiple deliveries at a time. Customers on the shit list will most likely be receiving their food later than they were told on the phone and possibly cold. The third, and most important, reason for the shit list is that should a driver ever feel the need to contact a stiffer, they'll know where to go. Some drivers have sent letters explaining what a tip is and why they feel they deserve it and other drivers have just vandalized the stiffers' lawns. I've never done either, to this day, but like to keep my shit list around "just in case."
On the contrary to the shit list, many drivers (myself included) also keep a list of customers who either tip us well or just treat us with respect and are friendly. These customers, unlike stiffers, will receive top priority when we leave with multiple runs and some have been known to receive free food as a token of our appreciation.
Anyway, last night started out pretty crappy. First there was that large order for a 3% tip, then there were several other orders where the customers essentially ripped me off. Out of my first five deliveries last night, the best tip I received was from an order that was only $10.77. The other four added up to be $9.12 in tips for $141.48 in food. Do you know what percentage that is? Well, if you're one of my customers you're probably not very good at math so allow me to do it for you. That's less than 6.5%. Now to be fair, that crummy little "tip" on the big order probably brought the percentage down a little, but the other three deliveries still averaged only 8.5% in tips. What I'm trying to say is that those tips are pathetic. Any person in the food service can tell you that.
Any decent human being can tell you the standard for tipping is 15-20%. Yeah, you thought that was only for waiters, didn't you? I hate to break it to you, but waiters don't drive up to 100 miles every day on the job, constantly stopping and wearing out their car and tires, in any weather condition, through crummy neighborhoods with a wad of cash on them. They walk twenty feet this way... then they walk twenty feet that way. Then they repeat steps one and two when necessary.
I did say last night only started out crappy. Yes, it did get better. In the end I still only averaged about 13% in tips, but I was satisfied with the dollar amount I walked away with.
Now I know you've read this far because you're wondering what the title of this post means. "The Shit List." What is that? I can tell you from experience and discussions with many other drivers across the United States that around 95% of us carry shit lists in our cars. These are because while we pride ourselves on our topological memories, we don't have the space in our heads to memorize every one of our customers who disrespect or insult us (the stiffers, namely). So what's the point? First, we're generally never surprised anymore when we get stiffed. Because of our shit lists, we've known it was coming since the moment we left the store. Second, people on our shit lists get zero priority if we're leaving with multiple deliveries at a time. Customers on the shit list will most likely be receiving their food later than they were told on the phone and possibly cold. The third, and most important, reason for the shit list is that should a driver ever feel the need to contact a stiffer, they'll know where to go. Some drivers have sent letters explaining what a tip is and why they feel they deserve it and other drivers have just vandalized the stiffers' lawns. I've never done either, to this day, but like to keep my shit list around "just in case."
On the contrary to the shit list, many drivers (myself included) also keep a list of customers who either tip us well or just treat us with respect and are friendly. These customers, unlike stiffers, will receive top priority when we leave with multiple runs and some have been known to receive free food as a token of our appreciation.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
7-11
I would like to add as a small sidenote here:
If it weren't for Sobe and those small turkey and pepperjack sandwiches they sell at 7-11, I don't know how I'd survive this job.
And yes, just in case any of you are wondering, if you're a chronic stiffer and I'm hungry you'd better believe 7-11 is a higher priority than delivering to your cheap ass so you can wait as long as I feel you deserve to wait before getting your food.
Other than that, I won't stop anywhere unless I'm on the way back from a delivery and there aren't any (or many) deliveries waiting at the store to be taken out.
If it weren't for Sobe and those small turkey and pepperjack sandwiches they sell at 7-11, I don't know how I'd survive this job.
And yes, just in case any of you are wondering, if you're a chronic stiffer and I'm hungry you'd better believe 7-11 is a higher priority than delivering to your cheap ass so you can wait as long as I feel you deserve to wait before getting your food.
Other than that, I won't stop anywhere unless I'm on the way back from a delivery and there aren't any (or many) deliveries waiting at the store to be taken out.
Slow days.
Tuesday was slow and Wednesday was slow. Tuesday, I managed to pull in $26 in tips for nine deliveries. Wednesday, I got $26 for ten. Fortunately, I don't generally have to fill up my gas tank after nineteen deliveries so at least I didn't lose any money on that.
A general rule of thumb, people: a good average dollar amount in tips is $3 per delivery. That being noted, my last two days were clearly "below average." They were close to average, being that I made about $2.75 per delivery in the last two days, but slightly below nonetheless.
The good thing about Tuesday is that I was feeling like shit all day so when some white guy stiffed me I barely noticed. I did notice, of course, but found myself amused at the fact that I very well may have coughed on (not in) his pizza box and spread my disease. And believe me: whatever I have, you don't want.
The good thing about Wednesday is that I got paid. Over $300 since I worked every damn day last week. I was so happy the two guys who were out of town came back, though. I took Sunday off. I don't even care how well they did that day.
I guess that's about it. More updates to come. Keep your eyes out, though: I swear not everything I do is so mundane. Amusing stories will come, I assure you all.
A general rule of thumb, people: a good average dollar amount in tips is $3 per delivery. That being noted, my last two days were clearly "below average." They were close to average, being that I made about $2.75 per delivery in the last two days, but slightly below nonetheless.
The good thing about Tuesday is that I was feeling like shit all day so when some white guy stiffed me I barely noticed. I did notice, of course, but found myself amused at the fact that I very well may have coughed on (not in) his pizza box and spread my disease. And believe me: whatever I have, you don't want.
The good thing about Wednesday is that I got paid. Over $300 since I worked every damn day last week. I was so happy the two guys who were out of town came back, though. I took Sunday off. I don't even care how well they did that day.
I guess that's about it. More updates to come. Keep your eyes out, though: I swear not everything I do is so mundane. Amusing stories will come, I assure you all.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
The Rundown:
My name is unimportant. Call me paranoid, but there are a lot of crazy people out there. Trust me; I've met quite a few of them.
In any case, you can call me D.
In any case, you can call me D.
Currently, I work as the delivery manager for a small restaurant called Napoli's. Napoli's is a small chain of three stores located in Allen, Plano, and Corsicana, Texas. They serve not only pizza, but also full pasta, chicken, and veal dishes as well as salads, desserts, and sub sandwiches and they offer all their menu items for delivery. All three stores are owned and operated by the same man, a friendly Albanian named Mike, and his family. I've worked with Napoli's since only a couple months after they opened in April of 2004.
I never even wanted a job as a "pizza delivery boy" (in quotes because the term is actually a bit insulting) and, in fact, laughed at my older brother when he got his job delivering pizzas for Napoli's that April. I for some reason felt above such a job. After all, I had already worked at a restaurant, when I was 15, and had moved on to bigger and better things like retail. In all seriousness, though, I was given the position of a supervisor at a grocery store when I was only 17. I began working two jobs, then, and was given another supervisor position at a Spencer's Gifts store in the mall. Well, I ended up losing both jobs for reasons I don't feel like going into and started working at Toys R' Us as an "open floor associate." That is: I didn't mess with cash registers or ringing people up. Instead I had one of the more important jobs at such a place: actually convincing people to buy our shit. While I actually loved the job, I was glad to leave the next January in order to go to college.
I came back the next summer just in time to say goodbye to my brother as he left for the Army. This meant he had to leave his job at Napoli's, which he had held for less than two months. Well, I did need a job and Napoli's had a spot open, so I swallowed my pride, said goodbye to my ego (and my brother), and went to meet the crew at Napoli's.
On June 5th, my brother worked his last day at Napoli's and I met the crew.
On June 6th, I went to see Eric Clapton, among other artists, play in Dallas at the Cotton Bowl.
On June 7th, I tucked in my shirt, combed my hair, filled up my gas tank, and went to work.Now, a lot of "veteran" delivery drivers may say that since I've only been doing this for two years, I'm still learning all there is to know about the job and am, in gaming terms, still just a noob. To them I'd like to say I'm a fast learner. Granted, they've probably seen shit I've never seen on the job, but I'm sure I've likewise seen shit they've never seen.
Here's a breakdown of my current job as "delivery manager:"
I still deliver pizzas just as much as the other drivers at our store, so don't think I'm a sellout. The main differences are that I also help out up front, deal with problem customers, dispatch drivers on deliveries, and write the schedule for all our drivers. I don't perform menial tasks like bussing tables anymore, but I still answer phones, take out the trash, and vacuum the store like the other drivers. My pay remained the same when I was "promoted," but I don't have much of a problem with that because I actually enjoy doing my new duties and often did such duties anyway before they started calling me a manager.
Finally, I'd just like to say that this blog isn't going to be about what I have been through in the wonderful world of pizza delivery, but mostly what I will go through. I'll give you a quick little briefing of some of the shit I've gone through just to give you an idea of the sort of things you'll see on this blog in days to come.
I've been offered beer, liquor, and even the food I'd just delivered as a tip. My car's been egged. My car has been hit. My car has ended up in a ditch. I've met more crazy people in a day than most people will meet in a year. I've become cynical, spiteful, and even a little racist. I've been through the "gas crisis." Prices were around $1.60 when I started this job and have been over $3.00 since then. I've delivered during football games, basketball games, and I've witnessed firsthand the rise of NASCAR. I've delivered to hurricane refugees. I've delivered on many a holiday and two Super Bowls. I'm currently delivering during the NBA finals, of which our local team (the Dallas Mavericks) are a part of.
This job is not a walk in the park, as many people will make it out to be. It's fast-paced, stressful, and intense. I've seen a driver quit after two hours saying he just couldn't handle the job.
Feel free to leave your comments at any time on my blog, though I do ask that they pertain to the subject matter of the post you're commenting on. I especially welcome fellow drivers to join in on the conversations that may be held here.
-D
